In our ever lasting quest of finding our place in the world and finding our own selves, somewhere, we all lose a part of us. Though this introduction has little to do with what I have in mind to share today, but it still makes a good food for thought, doesn’t it?.
So often it happens that the days that we least expect anything out-of-the blues to happen, something extraordinarily wonderful turns up that makes you learn a little more about your own identity. But sadly we let these days pass by unmarked, unacknowledged, maybe because somewhere we all have lost respect for the person we are, so much so that these hidden parts of us, these little secrets about our own self are not sufficient enough to excite us. I won’t let this day pass unmarked, I am going to make this day etched and penned.
For quite some time now, an idea has been churning up inside of my head, a story, which for long I thought was going to be my next write-up. Failing to take any significant form and structure I let it slip, blaming it on my incapacity to properly express my emotions through the written medium. But in the last couple of days, I was able to get over my initial troubles and give the idea the form that it required, but only in my head. I get really excited when I have a story to tell, a story to share, and I wanted to let it out immediately. I have a friend with whom I share all my stories, so I texted her and, like always, she was excited to hear the story. I explained the story, the ups and downs, the characters and their turmoil and the message that I want to convey, all in seven long messages. Her initial reactions were pretty good, and I felt that I had hit the sweet spot. Even I felt I have something good. Then I also told her that I won’t be writing the story, instead I was thinking of making a short film on the subject.
This took place last night and now coming to today’s event. Excited as I was, I decided to tell, verbally, the story to my sister. I sat her down and took her through story and at the end I was disappointed. The story felt so stale and uninspiring. I felt the magic was missing, my words didn’t meet my imaginations; it felt lost in the air filling up the room.
I felt disgusted, and unapologetically I blamed my sister for being a bad listener. In that brief moment of me loosing my temper, and my words filling up the spaces in my mouth, I realized that the problem was ME. My verbal expressions felt lost and it didn’t spark any emotions, I felt uneasy telling the story.
This might not sound all “extraordinarily wonderful”, as I wrote earlier, but for someone who has been having a hard time making peace with himself, this was a big message. I realized, it is times like these, when we are face-to-face with our shortcomings, that we learn the most about ourselves. In an attempt to soothe our bloated ego, we overlook these tiny things that make us who we are. For, the Earth might be moved with a long lever, but it still needed Archimedes to know, he needed a fulcrum.
If you also want to find out what moves you, what excites you, what makes your heartbeat jump like a kid, go and try out new things. Don’t let prejudice and pre-set inhibitions cloud your thoughts. Let go of your vanities and try anything that interests you, don’t think about any profit or loss, or it’s practical viability. Remember, this is the first day of the rest of your lives, make it count.
Ankit Agarwal's 